Tune in Italy!

Stay tuned... I'm going to Italy in a week and a half. I'm making it a point to go to Corleone, because really, if there's anything I know how to do, it's to make people offers they can't refuse. I'm also going to start an all gelato diet. Those are my two ambitions for Italy: Corleone and gelato. I will take pictures of my success.

Thesis done!

I finished my Masters Thesis. Finally. I was thinking of posting a picture of it, but then I realized "who would want to look at a picture of a thesis?" ... so I refrained. It's super long and super boring, but I can give you the whole summation right here: Reading interventions are not effective in the long term. We keep doing them because we don't know what else to do. Some of them are effective in the short term (for as long as the student is doing the program). Programs based on phonics instead of whole language are most effective (but only in the short term.)

That's it. That's what took me months to write. That's what caused me to throw up and then cry when it was finally done. And you got it all, in just four sentences. My heart and soul are sold so cheaply...

What a circus!

I was born to be a Republican. I know this because I love elephants, so it was basically fate. You know that saying, that people sometimes say, "it was a freaking circus!" Like, when something is really crazy or there's a lot going on and it's hard to keep it all organized, they say it was a circus. Now I know why. I went to the circus!! it was everything I dreamed it would be. They had dancing elephants. They had people hanging and doing these aerial stunts on thick ribbons of material hanging from the ceiling. They had performing bears!!

I think the best part was the four (yes four!) motorcycles riding around inside a tiny little sphere. I mean, how would you practice something like that? You don't. You either do it right, or you die. You can't practice slowly going fast.

Anyway, I'm including some pictures of my trip to the circus. I wanted to ride the elephants, but was told it was socially unacceptable unless I were to borrow a kid to ride with me (which I felt would have been even more socially unacceptable.) I also was not supposed to get my face painted. I've decided that I'd like to have kids, so that I can do these things again. (more on that later.) Actually, it's later... I think there's something wrong with a society that says you can only do fun things if you're a little kid.

Why does being a grown up mean you have to suddenly be boring and unfun? It just doesn't make any sense. Like, fun is just for kids. That's wrong in my opinion. We need to change that. Fight against the man!

I am Super Man (or Woman)!!!

I got new snow tires and now I am invincible!!! You should see me.... other cars slip and slide in the snow, but not me... I've got the power. I just cruise down the road, unafraid of the ungroomed Utah roads. Yes, you, Utah. I drove those roads during the famous blizzard of AFTER Thanksgiving 2010, that was the unanticipated and ten times worse version than the famous blizzard of BEFORE Thanksgiving 2010. In the BEFORE blizzard, people were stocking up on water and toilet paper. Then the blizzard turned out to be nothing. I think it was God's way of preparing people for the famous blizzard of AFTER Thanksgiving 2010. (You know how God does that sometimes... sends a teaser so that you get prepared and then unleashes the real thing.) That blizzard left the 15 freeway looking like a ski slope (of course, it might not have, if UTA groomed their freeways.)  But UTA apparently does not, because there was not even salt on the freeway, and none of the road was visible. It was solid snow. But I ventured forth into it, and survived, and returned determined to get new snow tires as a result. You know how when you get new shoes, you're suddenly able to jump higher and run faster? Or when you get a new dress, you're suddenly the most beautiful woman ever? New snow tires are like that, but for your car. And because when driving in the snow, you are your car, I have thus become invincible. This is not an excuse to be wreckless, but if you see a superhero on the news with new snow tires, it was me.

(All misspellings are intentional. I shouldn't have to tell you that, but there's a tiny voice inside my head that says I need to.) 

minimalism

I've decided to become a minimalist. This means that I will use the minimum amount possible for my daily (sometimes weekly) consumption... or maybe it means that I just cut down on excess. I decided to start with my shampoo and conditioner. I have twelve PAIRS of shampoo and conditioner bottles. That means I have 24 bottles in my shower. That's kind of a lot. Almost enough to feed a starving village. So I've been slowly using them up and my goal is to not replace them. I was almost successful in this. I used up one pair and threw them away, but then I saw this new conditioner that I've really been wanting to try (it's called It's a 10, in case you were wondering), so I bought it. But at least I didn't buy the shampoo to go with it! And it's a small bottle, of instant conditioner. So far it works really well, in case you were wondering. I'm recommending it to everyone. So I'm only half of a minimalist... I got rid of a shampoo/conditioner set and only bought a new conditioner. I am slowly working toward my goal. Hey, life isn't about where you end up, it's which direction you're pointed in when you die. That's what my Sunday School teacher told me.

Lagger

I'm lagger. Anyone who knows me, already knows this. It's pretty obvious from the first moment you meet me, because I'm probably late to that first moment. So it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone that I've had this blog for about two years, and haven't ever posted on it.

I'm fixing that today.

I've been horrendously sick for the past few days. Not as sick as I was this time last year, because that was almost unbearable (I really thought I might die, or at least I wanted to), but still horrendous. Which brings me to my point... customer service. In the middle of my horrendous sickness I had to fly back to Utah from California where I'd been visiting my family. This was on the first day of real sickness. I was so sick that I could barely stand. In fact, it was black Friday and I DIDN'T GO SHOPPING! That's how sick I was. So my mother called the anonymous airline, to tell them that I was so horrendously sick and that they ought to allow me to change my flight, just as a matter of courtesy to the other fliers. They did not agree. It was going to cost me upwards of $200 to change my flight ($100 to change plus the price difference of the new ticket, and being Thanksgiving weekend and all, the flights were expensive.) My mother pointed out that I was so obviously ill, there would be a lot of angry passengers on the plane. It was basic customer service to allow me to take another flight a few days later after I had recovered, or at least wasn't so violently ill. We would even provide a doctor's note. No dice. So I flew. I sure hope no one on that flight gets sick, but I wasn't about to pay an additional $200 when the airline who should have been most concerned didn't seem to think it mattered.

I may or may not continue to update this. Mostly I'm doing this right now because I'm still sick and have time on my hands. But to be totally honest, I can't make any promises. I've lagged before and I'm certain to do it again.